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How to Handle Your Girlfriend's Friends and Family

This subject is a pretty important one. Even if you don't like your girlfriend's friends and family, one thing you should remember is that her friends and her family are basically extensions of her. Chances are she is going to share a lot of characteristics with her friends and family. If you can’t stand them or what they do, then you may need to re-evaluate if she is really the right one for you.

Ok, let’s say you don’t heed my caution on the above paragraph. You hate your girlfriend's friends and family, but you still want to be with her. You nonetheless must, must, must have the approval of her friends and family. If not, it’s a death sentence for you and the relationship for sure. You can bet that if her friend hates your ass, even if she thinks you are perfect for her, she’ll tell your girlfriend all the reasons why you’re an asshole.

If your girlfriend's friend doesn’t like you, doesn’t want to be around you, but wants to be around her friend, there is only one thing for her to do… take you out of the equation.

Let's say things are going just swell between you and your girlfriend. If her friend tells your girlfriend that you’re not right for her, your girlfriend will more than likely blow it off and say that she loves you anyway no matter what. But wait for that first big fight to come. The type of fight where your girlfriend questions whether she should be with you or not. That bitch friend of hers will be sitting on her shoulder telling her that you’re just not worth it and your girlfriend just might listen this time. Save yourself the heartache, make her friends and family approve of you.

There are several ways to gain the approval of your girlfriend's friends and family. First of all, let them see how you treat her. Hopefully you are good to her most of the time, so show this off to them. They care about their friend or their daughter and don’t want to see anything but good for her. If you show them that you are good for her and treat her well, then that’s a big plus in your favor. If you treat your girlfriend like a piece of shit, don’t let them see that side of you, genius. At least try to fake it around them, but normally they will see right through that charade anyway.

Complement her outloud in front of her friends and family so that they can hear it. Never, ever fight or degrade her in front of them; even if you are just joking. For example, you’re driving with her family and someone makes the comment that some asshole is driving like shit. You jokingly say "he drives almost as bad as [your girlfriend]." Now you're probably just being your sarcastic self, but they won’t see it that way. They'll see it as a put down, and that’s not acceptable.

If a fight does pop up, try not to fight back. Be a totally submissive pussy around her friends and family and tell her you understand and definitely see her point of view. Fighting with her will definitely steer them away from you. Remember, you need their approval or your relationship is doomed.

Sidenote---Very important! Never deny her the chance or disapprove of her seeing or talking to her friends or her family. Might as well call it quits right there. It's a big no no. They were there long before you, and they will be there long after you. You will lose this fight every time.

Another little thing that is very important is how you carry yourself if you are out with her dad (just the two of you). I don’t give a shit if he is breaking his neck looking at women as the walk by…..don’t you dare. It will give him signals that you are a cheater or a womanizer. In fact, if he is looking at other women, it could just be a test. Family can be sneaky. They want to make sure that their daughter/cousin/whatever is with a decent guy, so they may test you. I reminds me of a joke I heard:

Frank is going to get married in two days and his fiance’s sister is always walking around in tight little shorts and revealing clothes. He desperately would love to nail her, and he's pretty sure she wants him to. Frank never makes any advances, but the day before the wedding it's just Frank and the sister. She finally comes up to Frank and tells him that she wants to rock his world. Just one time before he is a taken man and tells him she will be upstairs waiting for him. She throws her panties down the stairs and he immediately bolts out of the house to his car. When he gets there, he sees the entire family standing there applauding and the dad comes up to Frank and says that he is proud of him and that he will make a fine addition to the family. What is the moral of this story? Always keep your rubbers in your glove compartment. Anyways, it could be a test, so don’t so much as look at another woman when out with her friends and family. Save it for when you are with the guys.

After you show them how you treat her, and assuming they like how you are to her, you need to convince them that you like them as well. I don’t give a shit how annoying they are to you because they probably will be. Never, ever let it show. Never get visibly frustrated with her friends and family. Always be good to them. Try to make it a point to take the initiative to talk to her friends and family one on one just about bullshit. Hold a conversation with them. It shows that you like them and are interested in talking to them, even if you don't have to.

If all you do is say hi when you see them, they will know you don’t really want to be close to them as a person, with or without their daughter/friend/whatever. Go out of your way to do nice things. Don’t overdo it. You don't want it too look obvious that you are just trying to be nice. Do things like help carry in groceries, offer the friend to go pick up lunch for her, be the type of guy to them as you would want as your friend. Show the family the utmost respect and even call them Mr and Mrs. long after they tell you to stop. Keep it up for a long while and just tell them it is a respect thing.

Never reveal any of your shortcomings to them in any way. It's better to not say a damn word then to say incriminating things about yourself. Every single time she talks to them on the phone, throw in the….."tell your mom I said hi" thing. If you really want to be money, then ask to talk to them and just chat for about five minutes. You'll be golden.

If you get them in your pocket, then even if she starts to hate you and wants to get out, her friends and family will go to bat for you and probably prolong the relationship. Inevitably, if she just doesn’t want to be with you, she will make up her own mind. Nevertheless, they will certainly help to not let it get to that point. Relationships are not for the weak of heart. You will need all the reinforcement you can get for when the shit hits the fan. Be fake if you have to, but make sure her friends and family are on your side. So go forth young relationship tamer; make me proud.

GABRIEL

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