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Overcoming Jealousy

Jealousy has ruined relationships more than any other single emotion. It's an incredibly common problem: a guy meets a girl, she starts to like him for who he really is, but then after dating for a while, he begins to get comfortable and feel a sense of ownership over the girl. If the girl is the same way towards him, they'll probably get married and after years of misery get divorced. If the girl herself is confident, the guy's jealousy will be a turnoff to her and mark the beginning of the end of the relationship.

Either way, jealousy kind of seems like a lose-lose scenario, does it not? No one has ever reached the heights of society and when asked how they got there responded, "well, a lot of hard work and jealousy. I have always been a very jealous and insecure person, that's how I became a billionaire loved and adored by many." Sounds kind of silly, doesn't it?

So how do you overcome jealousy? Let's first start by identifying the root of jealousy. All jealousy is the byproduct of a personal insecurity. Let's take James Bond as an example. He's good looking, smart, witty and can get himself out of any troubled situation. Do you think James Bond ever gets jealous? Why would he? He has no reason to be jealous! He knows that any woman should count her lucky stars in order to be with him and so he relaxes knowing full well that he need not worry about other guys stealing away his girl.

Now, if James Bond thought he had something inferior about him, it might manifest itself as jealousy. For example, let's say James Bond secretly on the inside thinks he isn't a very good spy. This means he'll be hard on himself and when he's around a great girl, she'll sense his lack of confidence. When he's around spies that he thinks are better than him, he may worry that one of them will steal away the hot blonde on his arm. To prevent this, he'll insist to his woman that she doesn't hang out around other spies or other guys altogether. She'll begin to wonder why he would restrict her like this and remember, people always want what they're told they can't have! So by restricting her from other guys, he's actually driving her closer to them!

Suddenly, James Bond doesn't seem as attractive does he?

To overcome jealousy you have to overcome your personal insecurities. This can't be done overnight, but it can be done!

For starters, stop being so negative. Stop telling yourself that you have things wrong with you. People love inventing problems with themselves and using those problems as excuses for why they can't do this or do that. Stop. Confidence is all a state of mind. There is no metaphysical law that states you cannot achieve anything you set your mind to. The only thing that limits us are our own thoughts of ourselves.

Another thing to practice right away is to let go of the need to be emotionally fulfilled by a woman. When you let go of this need, you let go of your need for women. Sure, having them around for laughs, companionship and sex is great, but you don't need them. You merely would prefer that they be there. This is a key difference because once you realize that you can be happy on your own, jealousy will no longer haunt you.

Stay smart and stay honest with yourself. Be aware of the reality of who you are dating. Don't make them into someone they aren't. The wild girl you're dating in college will probably want other sexual experiences in her life. I know that's painful to think about now, but the more aware you are of the reality of your life and situation, the less likely you are to try to resist the natural flow of things. Jealousy is just that, a worried resistance to the natural order of things.

Focus on yourself and keep improving yourself. Remember that no one other person completes you. You are complete by yourself already. The more you can better yourself both physically and mentally, the less reason any woman will have for not wanting to be with you.

I can 100% guarantee you right now that if you are in a relationship where you regularly feel jealousy, that relationship will either one day be doomed or serve to limit you until the day you die. Never has there been a love story with a fantastic happy ending that involved both people realizing all of their wildest dreams where one or both of them regularly felt jealousy towards the other.

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