AlphaBeta.com - How Do You Panic?

How Do You Panic?

Recently, a friend related to me a story about this girl he was pursuing, or rather, a girl who was pursuing him. He showed me a huge 4-page text he received from her. The jist of the text was, "I need to know where this is going and if you can commit to a relationship or if this is just a fling to you," blah blah blah. Any guy who has any success with women has probably been through this routine before.

After I read my friend's text, I looked at him and said, "oh... so she panicked, huh?" He cracked up laughing, "panicked! That's a perfect way of putting it!"

Since then, I've observed other ways in which people, myself included, panic in the same way this girl panicked when she texted my friend.

In this case, I would define panicking as feeling a nervous need for some type of resolution or comfort. Panicking is the opposite of being cool.

Being that I, like most any man, strive to be cool in all things I do, I've begun observing ways in which I and others panic.

Religion is a great example of a panic. I've seen it happen countless times. A wild child party animal pushes the edge too hard one time and a week later they're talking to you about Jesus. That's a panic. They swapped out one drug for what seems like a safer one.

Or the love of someone's life leaves them for another person. Suddenly that person begins spouting how much they can feel the love of Jesus or can't stop talking about how everything happens for a reason. Again, a panic.

Marriage is another great panic example. Why do you think people get married? It's because they're nervously trying to convince themselves and everyone they know that they are inseperable and really will be together forever.

Or someone experiences the loss of a loved one and talks endlessly about how they'll see them again someday. Panic.

Panicking is a defense-mechanism to help us get through this crazy life. And that's okay. However, if you want to do really well with women and in life, I believe you have to reach a state in your game where you virtually never panic.

Let me give you a couple examples of how I never panic with women anymore like I used to:

1. I'm never jealous. Jealousy is a form of panicking. It's this little voice in your head that worries about your place in her life and by panicking, you allow that voice to manifest itself as jealousy. Jealousy is a panicked response at trying to secure your place in someone's life or gain some type of resolution. Well guess what? It doesn't work. Actually, it usually accomplishes the opposite of what you want it to! Jealousy is a turn-off to almost all women and when you show them that you're worried about other men, they'll begin to think that maybe there's something about those other men they should become curious about. Keep your cool, don't panic, don't be jealous.

2. I never push any "relationship" talks. I actually take great amusement now in my relationships with women having a "last longer" contest on who can go the longest before panicking. In my earlier days, this is a game I would almost always lose. Now, I virtually never lose. No matter how cool or self-certain a girl might be, I'll always one-up her and keep the coolness going for longer than she can. Eventually she will be the one who panicks and initiates the "where is this going?" or the "are we exclusive now?" conversation. By not being the one who initiates this conversation, you become irresistibly attractive to women! They can't figure you out ("why doesn't he want a relationship with me?!?") and people are attracted to things they can't figure out. Be cool and don't start any panicked "where am I in this relationship?!!" talks. When you never panic, you seem like you're in complete control of everything you do, and women are attracted to men who are in complete control of their life.

If you can master the ability to resist your panic-impulses both with women and in life, you will reach amazing heights. Be cool. When you feel panic-like emotions coming on, lean back, deliberate. Don't do anything until the panic-emotions subside. No good can come from these emotions. Believe me, if the girl in the original example had just kept her cool a while longer, she might have acquired my friend as a boyfriend. But since she panicked too soon before he was interested enough, he was turned away.

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